De-escalation Training Doesn’t Work on People Looking for a Fight

There’s a growing fantasy in modern policing and security, that conflict can be massaged away with tone of voice, open palms, and affirming phrases. It's called “de-escalation training,” and it’s sold as a silver bullet for violence. I’ve trained it for almost a decade but the reality is uglier, it works only on people who already want peace. For those looking for a fight, predators, chronic offenders, mentally unstable aggressors, it’s not a solution. It’s an opportunity.

The belief that violence stems from miscommunication is rooted in a deeply flawed assumption, that everyone shares the same rules of engagement. They don’t. Career criminals, gang members, emotionally disturbed individuals, and ideologically motivated attackers don’t escalate out of confusion. They escalate because they want to dominate, humiliate, or destroy. Talking them down is like whispering at a hurricane. You're heard, but only until you're hit.

Ask any experienced security professional, when someone is adrenalized, armed, or acting on a psychological compulsion, dialogue isn’t a tool, it’s a delay. You’re not buying time. You’re giving it away. And often, the delay gets you or someone else seriously injured. So you need to be aware when you must act!

Statistically, the vast majority of violent attacks, on police, security, or civilians, are not misunderstandings. They’re intentional. Many offenders have prior records, long histories of non-compliance, and a pattern of escalating behaviour. Their violence isn’t a last resort, it’s a first instinct. And training security teams to treat it as miscommunication gets people hurt. Especially in the NT where most offenders are cowards and attack in groups of three or more.

The real-world application of de-escalation relies on context. A belligerent drunk who still fears consequence might back down. A man in full psychosis, a domestic abuser in a rage, or a hardened offender running from police won’t. In these cases, control is the only ethical option. Verbal tactics are not strategy, they are a tool among many, and they should never be mistaken for a shield.

Security, at its core, is about deterrence and dominance of space. Not ego. Not provocation. But control. The moment staff are trained to treat aggression as something that should never be matched, they become liabilities. They project weakness, and predators smell it instantly. Disarm a guard of their own self defence and you are rewarding the predator.

Psychological profiling confirms this, antisocial and narcissistic personalities interpret kindness as surrender. Attempting to calm them down without first securing compliance only fuels their sense of power. The result? Escalation, not resolution.

This is not a rejection of professionalism. It’s a rejection of naivety. A competent security operator knows when to talk and when to act. The uniform does not confer magical verbal powers, it signals authority. Without the capacity and willingness to enforce it, all the training in the world becomes theatre.

Public safety isn’t improved by indulging the myth that all violence is preventable through kindness. It’s improved when the violent are stopped early, firmly, and lawfully. We don’t keep communities safe by speaking softly to the violent. We do it by ensuring they know, without doubt, that violence will be met with greater force and zero tolerance.

In the real world, peace isn’t maintained by those who talk best. It’s maintained by those who stand firm.

From the author.

The opinions and statements are those of Sam Wilks and do not necessarily represent whom Sam Consults or contracts to. Sam Wilks is a skilled and experienced Security and Risk Consultant with 3 decades of expertise in the fields of Real estate, Security, and the hospitality/gaming industry. Sam has trained over 1,000 entry level security personnel, taught defensive tactics, weapons training and handcuffs to policing personnel and the public. His knowledge and practical experience have made him a valuable asset to many organisations looking to enhance their security measures and provide a safe and secure environment for their clients and staff.