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Writer's pictureSam Wilks

Gratitude for 15 years of Marriage.




Gratitude, often an underestimated virtue, stands as a cornerstone in the quest for a fulfilling life and enduring partnerships. The journey of life is a complex tapestry woven with threads of choices, circumstances, and the human condition. In the realm of relationships, the tapestry becomes even more intricate. The selection of a life partner, arguably one of the most consequential decisions a person makes, is less about serendipitous encounters and more about an alignment of fundamental values and a mutual recognition of worth and respect. This alignment is where the principle of gratitude emerges as a pivotal force.


Gratitude is not merely a reactionary emotion to kindness or good fortune; it is a proactive stance, a way of perceiving and interacting with the world. It's about acknowledging the value and contributions of others to our life journey. In the context of finding a life partner, gratitude means appreciating the uniqueness of the other, recognising their virtues, and understanding their role in one's life. It's about seeing the person not just for who they are but for who they can become with you by their side. It not about "having to" spend time with that special person, but getting to spend time with them.


Consider, for instance, a couple in Darwin celebrating their 15th wedding anniversary. Their journey hasn't been just about love and companionship but about acknowledging each other's roles in overcoming life's arduous treks, like battling the isolation and environmental challenges of the Outback and the Top End. Their celebration is not just about marking a milestone but about expressing gratitude for shared struggles and triumphs.


Gratitude in a relationship is akin to trust and good faith in economic transactions. It's about recognising and valuing the other party's contribution and fostering a mutually beneficial exchange. In relationships, there are bright days and times filled with constant shadows, these manifest in our expectations, projections, and the roles we assume. Gratitude helps in recognising and appreciating the 'otherness' of the other, allowing for a deeper connection that transcends mere projection and expectation. It helps in forming a bond not just with the person you love but with the reality of who they are.


The journey of gratitude is not devoid of challenges. In the modern world, where individualism often overshadows collectivism, acknowledging the role of others in our personal narrative can be daunting. Gratitude helps in identifying and appreciating the 'safe havens' in our lives, the people who provide us with emotional security and support.


In celebrating anniversaries and milestones, the act is not just about marking another year but about acknowledging the journey, the growth, and the shared experiences. Each celebration is a reaffirmation of gratitude for the past and a hopeful commitment for the future. It's about acknowledging the hardships while also revelling in the beauty of shared experiences.


The search for a life partner who fulfils one's deepest needs, wants, and desires is a journey marked by introspection, understanding, and, above all, gratitude. Gratitude allows for a deeper connection, one that recognises and values the other's contributions to one's life. It's about seeing the beauty in the shared journey, in the ups and downs, and in the mutual growth. Celebrating my anniversary with the woman I love has become a way of expressing this gratitude, of acknowledging the journey thus far, and of looking forward to the path ahead. In the end, it's not just about finding the right person, which I am so lucky to have found, but about nurturing a relationship where both partners feel valued, respected, and, most importantly, grateful.

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