How you see yourself determines how well you will succeed in life. Confidence is a great part of that success, so we must ensure that we get to know who we are, and adjust any habits and or addictions we have along the way.
Not all addictions and habits are bad, many serve us in ways we can barely understand. It is learning to recognise our habits, and understanding their purpose, that allows us to make positive adjustments if we wish to reach out goals.
Building confidence is not easy. Many of us in society today are provided privilege based on the level of victim identity we display. However, privilege and success are generally not intertwined. Success generally comes from consistent hard work, privilege provides temporary recognition only.
It is another of life’s great comedies that we learn most from mistakes, yet lose confidence when we have failed. None of us are created perfect, every individual no matter their look, has their own flaws and limitations. To gain confidence, we must not focus on our limitations.
I hallucinate that you are quietly thinking of your limitations right now, but I want you to understand that limitations are only challenges, and without challenges we fail to meet our full potential. Learning to see Fail as a First Attempt In Learning will help you build confidence.
Another habit you may have, is comparing yourself to others. Comparing yourself to others is one of the most destructive influences on confidence I have witnessed. Comparing height, skin tone, style and size is comparing genetic traits that you have no control over. This is the surest way I have witnessed people let themselves down, and it has a devastating effect on mental health.
Everyone has traits unique to them, some things like stamina, strength and the body can be affected by exercise or diet. But, it is important to accept the truth of who we are. Millions of years of genetic and natural selection have created the person you see in the mirror. What you might consider flawed has evolved greater intellect, understanding and imagination, to survive in a hostile world. Many people don’t just survive but if you look at their waist area, they thrive.
The goal is to stop obsessing on your limitations and to capitalize on your potential. I’ve read extensively psychiatric and psychological journals and novels. Each one contradicts many of the assumptions of the other. This is because we are all unique, similar but still unique. What works for one, may not work for many others.
The easiest way to determine who you are is to take the time and invest in yourself. Invest in keeping journals, blogs, spending time alone. Note what makes you distinctive, what you believe may help others, regularly define yourself, and redefine yourself, and, most importantly look for someone with whom you can confide.
Confidence grows from acknowledging oneself, so learning to accept and love who you are is important in gaining Self-confidence.
At the age of 40, I have not mastered self-confidence, but what confidence I have, has benefited me, and those that I love greatly. With time, and effort you too can experience the success, confidence attracts.